Today's dilemma...

Sometimes choices can be so difficult to make. Here is today’s dilemma. Jim suddenly had to have an unscheduled echo cardiogram done in a nearby town… at the very same time as my job interview today. What to do?

This test was important enough that the doctor wanted this test immediately, today and not tomorrow. But it wasn't important enough that they waited three days after a previous test to read the results. The test was important enough that the doctor verbally expressed concern, but not important enough to send him to the emergency room. The test was important enough that the doctor ordered the test “stat”, but not important enough that it was scheduled four hours later at 2:30p.

Meanwhile, I have a scheduled interview in our town today at 3:00p. Yesterday afternoon I had felt confident about this position and this interview. But yesterday evening I found out that there are many more qualified applicants for the same position. Had today’s dilemma happened yesterday I might have called and asked to be rescheduled for this interview, but today I am far less confident and I do not want to send a signal that I will be cancelling things at the last minute. Part of me wants to go to the interview to see if I stand a chance, and part of me wants to just skip the interview since I most likely won’t get this position anyway.

I feel like I need to be with Jim, to show him my support and my love. I feel like I need to be at the interview, so I can take care of my family in the long run. Part of me thinks Jim will be just fine and I can attend the interview with no guilt. Part of me thinks that Jim needs my emotional support for what could be a new crisis and to skip the interview and let the position go to another candidate. I truly believe that my place is with Jim, which is “my job.” I truly believe that my new job is to be the breadwinner so that Jim will not feel pressured to return to work and pay the bills.

I have decided that I will have to go to the interview. This will send a signal to Jim that I believe he will be fine; and to send a signal to Jim that I can take care of the financial things at home so he can focus on healing.  So there you have it. I will drop Jim off at his appointment, drive back to my town for the interview, drive back to pick up Jim, drive back to our home. I hope this works.