My husband Jim’s surgery for lung cancer is tomorrow. It is
becoming real now. I've been so busy attending appointments with Jim, and
getting ready for the surgery, that I have been going through the motions and
keeping myself numb to the reality of the situation. It is scary. We have so
much in our favor, yet it still scares me.
I am doing my best to think positively. Yet at the same
time, I try to prepare for every scenario. If the worst were to happen, I have
no regrets. I have told Jim that I love him. We have had many discussions about
a variety of subjects. I cannot think of anything that I didn't get to a chance
to say.
I am so ready for Jim to begin healing from this cancer. He doesn't like being sick, and I don’t like seeing him suffer. I believe that
once the cancer is removed, and the trauma from the surgery has passed, that Jim
will be his old self again. He may not have the lung capacity that he had
before, but he will have his old spirit back again. Feeling ill has really
taken a toll on Jim. He is so unaccustomed to feeling miserable. I am looking
forward to the day when he can be his (nearly) ol’ self again.
My friends have really been a blessing to me. I have been
moved to tears more than once with the outpouring of support and love and prayers
that Jim and I have received. Unexpected words, unexpected gestures. In
addition, the pearl/white awareness ribbon with Jim’s photo is popping up all
over our FaceBook pages! It brings us peace to see it and know that we are
being thought of and prayed for. I like it when Jim looks at FaceBook and says “there’s
another ribbon!” Thank you for posting the ribbon for us. I look forward to this time
next year when I can change the ribbon to Lung Cancer SURVIVOR!
