Oncologist tomorrow...

We were told six weeks ago that Jim's NSCLC Lung Cancer had returned. Last week Jim had a CT and a PET scan. Tomorrow my husband Jim should receive the results of these two tests. These test results should determine the rate of growth of the new cancer spots. The PET scan should also tell us if the cancer has spread to any other parts of his body. The ROG and location will help determine what options are available to Jim.

I do not know what the news will be. I am nervous, and a bit scared. I am fearful that it will be bad results. I know that there is nothing that I can do but wait and worry. I think that I will feel more comfortable once I hear the outcome, good or bad. After we hear the conclusions, Jim and I can make a plan. No matter the results, the waiting often seems worse. It has been a very long six weeks. At least when I have a plan, I will feel like I am doing something.

Good news...

22Oct2013 Jim’s appt, short answer: GOOD NEWS! Long answer: My husband Jim had his consultation today regarding his Lung Cancer status. We did not receive any bad news today. Jim’s most recent CT and PET did NOT show any worrisome activity. Jim’s pericardium and pulmonary vein looked good. There is a small area on the right lung that will be closely monitored, but we are not alarmed. The doctor feels, and we agree, that they have done all the chemotherapy and radiation that they can do at this point. The doctor would not say “remission”, we did ask him directly. The doctor did say “guarded optimism”. The doctor stated directly to Jim that he “expects the cancer to come back within two years”. This timeline falls in line with the information that we received at the time of Jim’s pneumonectomy. *Stage 4 NSCLC that has invaded the heart has its own set of parameters. During this phase we will have a “wait and see policy” with Jim having serial CTs and PETs. We are pleased with this update. This news is good news.

This status post comes just nine short months (to the day!) after I announced on my facebook that Jim had cancer. It is just ten short months (to the day!) from Jim’s very first appointment that began this journey. We had no idea at that time that it was cancer. Our lives have certainly changed during 2013. 

Change in plans...

My husband Jim has had some bothersome symptoms recently. Jim's chemo is temporarily on hold for a week while they do an MRI and CT scan. After reviewing these two procedures, chemo will most likely resume. Please pray for clean results of both tests; and that chemo can resume quickly. 

Today's dilemma...

Sometimes choices can be so difficult to make. Here is today’s dilemma. Jim suddenly had to have an unscheduled echo cardiogram done in a nearby town… at the very same time as my job interview today. What to do?

This test was important enough that the doctor wanted this test immediately, today and not tomorrow. But it wasn't important enough that they waited three days after a previous test to read the results. The test was important enough that the doctor verbally expressed concern, but not important enough to send him to the emergency room. The test was important enough that the doctor ordered the test “stat”, but not important enough that it was scheduled four hours later at 2:30p.

Meanwhile, I have a scheduled interview in our town today at 3:00p. Yesterday afternoon I had felt confident about this position and this interview. But yesterday evening I found out that there are many more qualified applicants for the same position. Had today’s dilemma happened yesterday I might have called and asked to be rescheduled for this interview, but today I am far less confident and I do not want to send a signal that I will be cancelling things at the last minute. Part of me wants to go to the interview to see if I stand a chance, and part of me wants to just skip the interview since I most likely won’t get this position anyway.

I feel like I need to be with Jim, to show him my support and my love. I feel like I need to be at the interview, so I can take care of my family in the long run. Part of me thinks Jim will be just fine and I can attend the interview with no guilt. Part of me thinks that Jim needs my emotional support for what could be a new crisis and to skip the interview and let the position go to another candidate. I truly believe that my place is with Jim, which is “my job.” I truly believe that my new job is to be the breadwinner so that Jim will not feel pressured to return to work and pay the bills.

I have decided that I will have to go to the interview. This will send a signal to Jim that I believe he will be fine; and to send a signal to Jim that I can take care of the financial things at home so he can focus on healing.  So there you have it. I will drop Jim off at his appointment, drive back to my town for the interview, drive back to pick up Jim, drive back to our home. I hope this works. 

Today is the day...

Today is the day of Jim's first procedure (see previous post for details). It's not been a pleasant day so far. I'm sick with a stomach bug; son Matt has a bad cough. Luckily son Dan is visiting from England and he is looking after the kids.

11:15a We have checked in at the hospital and we are waiting in the waiting room. Jim is scheduled to begin at 1p. Jim is in good spirits despite the uncertainty. I wish that I felt better but it is what it is. I will try to update throughout the day, as long as I have power and Internet.

11:20a The nurse has taken Jim back to get him prepared. I am still waiting. 11:55 I'm now waiting with Jim.

12:35p Jim was just taken back. And now I wait. My cousin is here waiting with me. My mom joined us in the waiting room a bit later. This is Jim on his way into the procedure.

1:50p It was not the post surgery news we had hoped for. It is not an infection. The doctor's best guess is a cancer of some sort. Now we wait to find out the degree of concern. They are concerned about his weight loss. Surgery was briefly discussed. We will know more in a few days. :( Jim is now in recovery, joking and cutting up. This photo is Jim in recovery. We'll be going home any minute.

3:30p. We are home now. Jim is resting. I am still trying to process all the information. We will deal with whatever is thrown at us.