The surgery day 2.12.13...

We arrived at 5:45a for Jim's surgery to remove his left lung. After admittance paperwork, we were taken to his ICU room where a team of five nurses prepared Jim for the operation. Jim spoke with his doctor about the procedure.

Yesterday, we took the kids to build-a-bear and Jim bought Kristen a bear and Matt a dog. We wanted them to have something special to hug until Jim returned home from the hospital.

Jim was able to phone our youngest son Matt this morning; just before Matt left for school. Jim was able to visit with Kristen this morning before we left for the hospital. Jim talked by phone to Kira and Jessica. Dan is in England and I relayed Dan's messages to Jim.

Then, we wait. Jim was prepped and ready. Jim's surgeon was delayed, so we waited some more.

Jim went through the OR door at 1:11p. This was about two hours behind schedule. At 1:45p the nurse said the doctor "liked what he saw" and proceeded to remove the lung. 4:05p The nurse said that the lung was out and that the doctor was closing, then Jim would be in recovery.

At 5p I spoke with the surgeon. The cancerous tumor was huge, and more than expected. It had encroached on the heart sack and it was in the superior pulmonary vein. The doctor took all that he could but it was too close to the heart. Chemo and radiation will begin in the next 1-3 weeks. The next 24 hrs would be tricky. The doctor's biggest concerns right now are blood clots, heart attack, stroke. Blood thinners are being given to help prevent this.

The hospital seems to be managing Jim's pain well. Jim is resting the best he can, considering. A long night is still ahead. 11p 2.12.13 photos: before surgery, Matt visiting his dad after surgery.

 

Surgery tomorrow…

My husband Jim’s surgery for lung cancer is tomorrow. It is becoming real now. I've been so busy attending appointments with Jim, and getting ready for the surgery, that I have been going through the motions and keeping myself numb to the reality of the situation. It is scary. We have so much in our favor, yet it still scares me.

I am doing my best to think positively. Yet at the same time, I try to prepare for every scenario. If the worst were to happen, I have no regrets. I have told Jim that I love him. We have had many discussions about a variety of subjects. I cannot think of anything that I didn't get to a chance to say.

I am so ready for Jim to begin healing from this cancer. He doesn't like being sick, and I don’t like seeing him suffer. I believe that once the cancer is removed, and the trauma from the surgery has passed, that Jim will be his old self again. He may not have the lung capacity that he had before, but he will have his old spirit back again. Feeling ill has really taken a toll on Jim. He is so unaccustomed to feeling miserable. I am looking forward to the day when he can be his (nearly) ol’ self again.

My friends have really been a blessing to me. I have been moved to tears more than once with the outpouring of support and love and prayers that Jim and I have received. Unexpected words, unexpected gestures. In addition, the pearl/white awareness ribbon with Jim’s photo is popping up all over our FaceBook pages! It brings us peace to see it and know that we are being thought of and prayed for. I like it when Jim looks at FaceBook and says “there’s another ribbon!” Thank you for posting the ribbon for us. I look forward to this time next year when I can change the ribbon to Lung Cancer SURVIVOR! 

Just one month ago…

It was only one month ago that everything seemed normal. All my “normal” was about to change. We found out on January 9^th, 2013, that my husband, Jim, had a mass in his lung. On January 17^th, we were told it was most likely cancer. This diagnosis was confirmed a few days later. After more tests we were told two encouraging bits of news: The cancer was non-small cell, and the cancer was contained to one area. Both of these were blessings to us. Jim is working with four doctors that he is very comfortable with. Four days from today, on February 12, just five short weeks after our first bit of information, Jim will have his entire left lung removed.

In the beginning we only told a few people about what Jim was dealing with, and we found in them a great source of love, prayer and encouragement. All of those conversations were very positive and uplifting. Once Jim was ready, we told the rest our friends and family. Most of those conversations were supportive and encouraging. Sadly, not all. 

I can’t speak for Jim, but for me it has been a roller coaster of emotions; worry, denial, and anger being the most prominent. Right now I am in a ‘just roll with it’ state of mind. It is out of my control. I can only react to it. I can’t predict what will happen. I can’t fix it. I can’t make it go away. It is what it is. We will play the cards that are dealt to us.

I am so thankful to those that have been praying for Jim, and for my family. I am thankful to those that have sent us words of encouragement. I am thankful that the cancer is not as bad as it could have been. I am thankful that the cancer was caught in time to do something about it. I am thankful that two of our adult children happened to be here to help us deal with the initial news. I am thankful that the survival rate for this surgery is very high (95%). I am thankful to my Facebook friends that have been so supportive. I am thankful for many things, even in the midst of all of this.