I worry...

Some evenings seem to last forever; like this one tonight. I am so tired and yet I cannot sleep. My mind will not stop racing. I worry. 

I worry about the surgery. I worry about the outcome. I worry about Jim. I worry about being alone. I worry about managing Jim’s care. I worry about finances. I worry about setting aside time for the kids. I worry about how Jim is coping. I worry about having to drive at night. I worry about paperwork. I worry about getting the kids to their activities. I worry about saying the right things. I worry about what to make for dinner. I worry about childcare. I worry about saying the wrong things. I worry about Jim missing Matt’s basketball games. I worry about being supportive enough. I worry about keeping Jim’s spirit up. I worry about conversations, both spoken and unspoken. I worry about Jim’s pain after the surgery. I worry about Jim getting “cabin fever”. I worry about Jim being bored. I worry about Jim accepting help. I worry about Jim not going to work and doing what he loves. I worry about Jim being happy with his adjusted lifestyle. I worry about little things that don’t matter, and I worry about the thing that matter the most.

I read somewhere, I don’t recall where, that ‘you can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.’ Sometimes that is easier said than done. It does no good to worry. I need to refocus; and stay focused on the positive. I guess it comes back to ‘it is what it is’ and ‘we’ll play the cards that are dealt to us’. 

Surgery date set…

Today, Jim (and I) met with the surgeon. The date for Jim’s pneumonectomy (entire lung) has been set for Tuesday 12Feb2013. Jim will arrive bright and early and the procedure should start around 11:30a, and will last approximately five hours. Of course nerves are on edge, but Jim and I are both glad that there is an option for ridding his body of this cancer. We know that there are no guarantees, but we do have strong hope for a full recovery. Jim is tired of feeling sick and he is ready to begin his recovery. The doctor has said that Jim’s recovery will take 4-6 months, perhaps more… but it will all depend on his recovery rate of success. Some patients recover more quickly, some take longer, so we will just have to wait and see. Jim has always done things full-blast, and I would expect his recovery to reflect that same go-get-'em spirit. 

The lung cancer awareness ribbon is pearl. If you are so inclined, please post this photo on your Facebook or blog on Tuesday February 12th, 2013. You can simply copy and paste it, or swipe it from my fb page. 

If you'd like to order a magnet, here is the link that I found online here. 

And we wait...

My husband, Jim, was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Jim had an appointment with a surgeon, but no surgery date has been set for his lung removal because that surgeon was called out of town. Later this week Jim will have another appointment with another surgeon. The educated guess is that the surgery will be within ten days. We are both relieved and stressed with this information; glad that the cancer will be removed from his body, but distressed that he has to have such an invasive surgery. Cancer is never good, but we are blessed that Jim’s cancer is no worse than it is. There are so many families that are suffering with so much more. We both appreciate your encouraging words and your prayers. Two phrases often repeated in our home: “It is what it is.” and “We’ll play the cards that are dealt to us.”