On my feet...

Finally, I am back on my financial feet again. It was a long and difficult summer, financially speaking. My husband Jim only received 50% of his June short-term disability check, due to calendar dates. Then his payments switched from short-term disability to long-term disability. I soon found out that Jim’s short-term paid at the front end of the month, and long-term paid at the end of the month. Jim had no disability check at all for July, or for August. I only work during the school year, so I had no income at all during the summer. I had to manage the entire summer on half of one month’s payment. I went the entire summer on a wing and a prayer, on credit cards, and on the kindness of others. Jim had already emptied his entire savings account and I had nothing left to fall back on. It was scary. It was humbling. It was hard.

It was a difficult time for me, financially speaking. It was also a difficult time for me, emotionally speaking. It was difficult to tell my son that he could not participate in various activities. My daughter did not participate in any extra activities. We were unable to go visit adult children. It was difficult to do activities with my family that required money. It was difficult to ask for help. 

I am now happy to say that this month I am back on track. I was able to meet our financial obligations once again. I had to tell my son that he could not participate in football this year, but sports are a luxury that I cannot justify right now. There is no savings account yet and there are no extra funds, but our obligations/bills are paid. 

I am thankful to friends that have helped us along the way. I have received gifts from gardens, gifts from kitchens, gifts of money, gifts of clothing, gifts of school supplies, gifts of camping, and gifts of time. I will one day to pay it forward. 

No information...

My husband, Jim, has now completed his radiation regime for his stage 4 lung cancer NSCLC. The radiation center gave Jim a cheesy diploma (lol). Jim had already completed his four cycles of chemotherapy. Jim also completed an additional cycle of chemotherapy with a different drug.

Jim had his appointment with his oncologist. We learned… nothing. Yes your read that correctly, we learned nothing. Jim was told to “come back in five weeks” and “we’ll see how you’re doing”.

I think it is time for a second opinion. I do not like the vagueness and allusiveness of this doctor. The doctor tends to practice what I call “defensive doctoring”, meaning the tests, procedures, and health plan are all geared towards a CYA approach of doctoring and do not appear to be geared towards Jim’s unique cancer and unique situation. I was disappointed with the “nothing” report that we received.

Jim has consulted with another doctor to request that Jim’s CTs and PETs are reviewed and explained in full. Jim had asked his own oncologist but the oncologist never complied with Jim's request. As you may recall Jim had a complete left pneumonectomy. My specific concern is that Jim had a nodule in the right lung, and now they are not commenting about that nodule. If it is gone, that is actually a bad thing (not a good thing); because that means that there was actually cancer in the right lung. If the nodule is gone, that means that the chemo has worked to reduce the nodule, but the simple fact that the nodule was there at all means that the cancer has spread to other organs (the right lung). If the nodule is still there, that is actually a good thing because that means it is probably a fungus which is common in our area of the Midwest. 

On a more positive note, I suppose that a neutral "nothing" report is better than a negative report. 

Jim remains extremely nauseated. Jim remains extremely fatigued. Jim is doing his very best to manage his multiple symptoms, but it is a daily challenge. As I have said many times, and will continue to say: Play the cards that are dealt; and it is what it is.

More treatments...

My husband Jim is continuing his radiation treatments. The radiation should have ended by now, but the treatments were not deemed successful so the treatments will be extended by two weeks. Jim is also simultaneously utilizing chemotherapy treatments once per week. These chemo treatments will also be extended, but no end date has been set as of this posting. 

Jim continues to struggle with day-to-day living because he is so very tired and weak. Jim requires several naps per day, and yet he still feels quite fatigued. Things that Jim used to do, now go undone. 


Jim still has his hair. Jim was told that his first cycles of chemo would cause hair loss; but it did not. Jim was told that this round of radiation and chemo would cause hair loss; but it has not. When Jim became sick Jim had let his beard grow. Jim's beard became a sight with uneven growth. Recently, Jim decided to trim his beard. It looks much neater now. 

Jim tries to keep his spirits up, and for the most part he is successful. Of course he has his low moments, but overall Jim maintains a positive attitude. As we often say: It is what it is and play the cards that are dealt to you.