April updates about Jim...

photo google images

Jim had a busy week. Monday, 22Apr13 C2d8, Jim had his scheduled chemo treatment. His white blood cell count was just enough that he was able to receive a full dose of the medicine. This was good news because I want the cancer gone!

Also that week Jim had an echocardiogram on his heart. This was a follow up to the echo that he'd had last month. The doctors are looking to see if everything is still the same. The results were as expected.

And that week Jim had a CT scan. This CT scan will establish a post-surgery benchmark to measure the cancer movement as the chemo progresses. The results have not yet been discussed with us in detail, but nothing alarming was in the report.

On Monday, 29Apr13 C2d15, Jim had his scheduled chemo appointment. Jim’s white blood cell count was again very low. Jim was not able to receive the full dose of chemo but Jim was able to receive a half-dose.

Jim is still very nauseous. Jim is still very fatigued. Jim is still very weak. All of this was to be expected from the cancer and from the chemo treatments. 

50th Birthday...

I guess ignoring my birthday this year was just not going to happen. I went with the theory ‘if you can't beat them, join them’. My birthday started off very nicely. My husband, Jim, baked me a chocolate cake. Jim and the kids iced and decorated the cake, too.

Since it was my birthday I took mini-cupcakes to work for the 60+ kids in grade two that I work with. I thought this would be the end of my birthday at school. I was wrong! I was so surprised to find out that the three grade 2 teachers had baked me a cake to share with all the school employees. They had put up posters on their classroom doors announcing my birthday. These same three teachers took time out of their busy day to sing Happy Birthday to me. They also gave me a lovely gift. They wore black in my honor. They had a coworker create a big 50 hat for me to wear all day. The kids all loved the 50-hat that I was “required” to wear all day. As I entered each classroom, the children stopped working and sang happy birthday to me. I was so touched by the joy that was shared with me. Second graders love birthdays, so when they told me happy birthday I could see that they really meant it with the all their hearts. Many of the kids were amazed at the age 50, which made me laugh inside. They had a hard time grasping the concept of 50 birthdays, since they have only had eight so far.

My son and daughter-in-law sent a lovely bouquet of flowers. My daughter called me first thing this morning. She had already sent me a cute weekend bag that she had created herself. My step-daughter sent me a cute video of the triplets telling me happy birthday from all of them. We topped off the day by going out to dinner with friends.

Being 50 isn't so bad.

No garden...

This year I had wanted to put in a small garden with some basic vegetables like tomatoes, green/yellow/red peppers, green beans, and some herbs. I have recently enjoyed canning foods and dehydrating foods and I had looked forward to an abundance of these vegetables. I had considered a few basic flowers as well like pansy and marigolds. But in the end, I decided to put in no garden at all. 

I decided that I would not have the time or energy to properly care for a garden. It bothers me to have a weed-patch because I don’t take the time to weed it. It bothers me to have produce go to waste because I don't have the time to pick it. It bothers me to see my garden wilt away in the Kansas heat because I don't have the energy to water it. I would be saddened to look at the garden every day. I would feel very guilty for not giving the garden the time and effort that it needed. Instead of a vegetable garden bringing me joy, it would bring me heartache. So I have decided there will be no garden for me this year.

Both my time and my energy will be very limited this summer.  With Jim’s cancer and cancer treatment side effects, and my children’s summer schedules, and I may have to find a summer job, I felt that a garden this year would be too much for me. I decided that I would plant nothing this year and take gardening, watering, and weeding, completely off of my plate.

There have been several things that I have had to remove completely off my plate; and now I will add gardening to that list. There will be a few more things that I will have to make a decision about in the very near future. I just feel that in order for me to maintain some form of sanity, I have had to make some personal decisions about what things will be given my time and my energy. Sure, I'm a bit down about this but on the other hand I am pleased that I am able to make the choices that will help me to deal with my present situation. The more items that I can take off my plate, the more focused my time and energy will be.